Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Why do narcissists keep calling on the phone after years of separation?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

And the sadness?

I was tired of trying and failing.

Why would my husband cheat on me with an ugly fat woman?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

I was tired of fighting.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Why do men first look at a woman's chest instead of their face?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Would you date/marry a guy younger than you? If no, why not?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Be who you already are.

Trump is shot, tackled by SS agents, yet then stands, defiant, with fist high, and 52 hours later, walks into the Republican Convention to thunderous applause. Is there anything that can stop this man, who loves his country? Does he get your vote?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Do all armies have the same rank structure?

You are like me, then.

I had run out of hope.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

What are the potential benefits of going without clothes at home for a few days without any specific reason?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It’s still here.

What are the possible reasons for people feeling depressed after the holiday season? Why does being alone exacerbate these feelings?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

The sadness was still there.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What does it mean when a British person says "I can't be asked"?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.